oblationing

i had been busy these past days trying to fix my application for clearance at the university. and while i was going around the campus, i reminisce the good old days.. way back when i was still that naive college freshman.

what had happened to my life was a roller coaster, complete with every twist and turns, ups and downs, and all the vomiting but not from the nausea the ride has brought but from being pregnant at 20 without graduating. we have the liberty to choose the paths we want to follow hence, we have no one to blame for our mishaps. as i again visit the halls i once attended class in, i feel remorse for every day i have wasted not persevering to finish a degree even if it has not got to be in engineering.

however, much as i want to go back, i cannot as i have more pressing things to take care of as working to provide my son's needs. maybe things really do happen for certain reasons, reasons we do not know and yet to be revealed to us in its rightful place and time. destiny has its own way of letting its self be discovered; God has his own way of showing us he has greater plans for us.

the purpose and reasons for my being dropped out of UP has not yet been uncovered. if the that moment comes, i know, i just know, it's going to be the best as what is meant for me..

ako ay pi(Li)pino

i was hesitant to meet up with a friend, mark, who came from the states. he's 100% filipino but he has spent all his life in california and is currently on vacation in the philippines. as for me, i am here in manila trying to figure out how to get my academic records from UP. i am staying at their place, per invitation of his father.

it feels so strange.. speaking a foreign language in my own country (as what i've told mark). my friend knows only a little tagalog so i really have to boost my brain functions and avoid memory gaps as i fumble through words. i must admit i am good at writing (not to brag about that) but it's a lot different when you converse because you won't be able to take back what you've already said and do some proofreading and editing. not to mention correct pronunciations and the twang you have to produce when in speaking.

today, we went to greenhills and shopped for some tees. of course, he was haggling with the saleslady of a stall he's buying a shirt from and while the poor girl was to muster all her skills to speak english, i saw this shirt with the statement "don't english me, i'm panic" and
i laughed my a** out. he bought that shirt not totally knowing why i was so sold out on the shirt.

we filipinos are one of the countries in asia who speak the universal language best.. even if some of us are speaking in "carabao english", we seem to be too warm in welcoming foreign people to our land which makes it really more fun to be here in the philippines.

but i think it would never be any fun if a few more days from now, i die of hemorrhage from too much nosebleeding..