heartbreak

just hours ago, i was quite uncertain of what to write. now, it's worse. i can barely press the keys.

i cannot bear the thought of graduation day. not that i am bitter because i still have a long way to go before i could march. it's just that i would surely miss one of my best buds: i spoke with him earlier this evening.

i don't know if i am supposed to tell him how i would feel if he leaves for good. and i don't know what my life would be knowing he won't be around if i need him.

i'll miss him terribly.

i just know i will.

and i'm sure i would..

Out of the bLue

you just can't have the best of two worlds. opposite worlds at that..

..and you just can't go taking risks when it means having to put the "future" of other people into the pit you would be falling into if in case the risks are not worth it.

i just made the biggest decision i've been struggling from for the past few days. i never really wanted to make a big deal out of the upcoming elections for the collegiate councils and the supreme student government but i guess, i just can't run away from it. i already asked leni about my plans and what it had to do with my passion for writing - that is staying in omniana. i like writing. a lot. if there are other things i life i'd rather be doing, i would choose to write forever for these good, or say best, reasons:

1. i met the people who became my closest and most treasured friends in the publication (leni, rolly, ariel, debbie, mikoy, ryan c., dave and the list goes...)

2. it built a strong character in me.. to always think of others welfare first and to express my opinions and views even if it would threaten my existence in the university

3. i felt this was my calling and this thing is meant for me and only me

4. my best and worst experiences happened during my omniana days

5. i have learned to love this more than anything else.

but then, i have some equally, and at some point, greater responsiblities i have to take care of. i think my college needs me for a job she knows i can well handle (according to a number of students and teachers i have spoken with). it tears me apart to think that i have to make a decision that would make me choose between doing what i like and doing what i have to. darn! i could easily say no but sometimes, it's hard to resist when you've already made a name out of "serving." much as i would like to decline and give others the post, i could not afford to sacrifice the plight of our college.

i have been contemplating on the decision i made last Saturday. if it was right to run in the highest position in the college council even if i knew one of my closest friends would be running in the same position. if it was right to blab about things i should rather had my mouth shut. if it was deserving of respect to talk behind others back especially if it had to do with a friend. lately, i've been trying to convince my self i am worthy to be president. but with how i have behaved lately, i should know more.

maybe i really am lucky to be one of the most sought-after figures in the campus. yet, getting it to my nerves makes me nonetheless the same with Gloria..

Readers' Nook

I have had this sort of compulsion to read novels and books of any sort when i was still in my first year in UP. Our teacher in communications, Mrs. Leilani Aquino (god, it's great to still remember her name!), made us find a copy of The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupery for our class. The book was available at the National bookstore for only a couple hundred of bucks. I simply grabbed a photocopy at the shopping center coz i didn't feel like going for a stroll at the mall and it costs cheaper than the book. As i read, i finally found my self too engrossed and entangled with the reading session that i did not want to leave the book unfinished. And so, i continued until i reached the last pages and to my amazement, i was crying after! I even wanted more.. Eventually i bought the book and still reads it when my mood is up.

The little prince as drawn by Exupery

From then on, i decided i should try looking for other books. Those which were "uso" and highly popular that time. That was the hype and height of harry potter and the first installment of the movie was upcoming. Fortunately, my dormmate had this set of rowling's masterpiece so i borrowed from them. I enjoyed much of the time i spent i almost starved my self just reading and reading until i finally made it to the fourth of the series in just 3 days!

another thing i just remembered. i read a story from the book section of reader's digest condensed entitled "The boy who invented the bubble gun" by paul gallico. the story was simple yet, quite compelling and in my high school years, it was definitely an achivement for me to have had finished reading a book and fully comprehending it.

Well, i have these list of books i have bought and some, i have borrowed, in order of when i have read and got them. If you want, just tell me and i'll lend it if it is still on my shelf (some of my collection had been borrowed and not returned up to this date i have yet to get them back :)

The Little Prince (translated) - Antoine de Saint Exupery - August 2000
Ulo ng Gapo - Lualhati Bautista - September 2001
Harry Potter - J.K. Rowling - borrowed from Allan and Ate Rhea; February 2001
1. the sorcerer's/philosopher's stone
2. chamber of secrets
3. prisoner of azkaban
4. goblet of fire - voltaire's at CIEM xmas party and UP lantern parade December 2002
5. order of the phoenix - borrowed from ate debbie March 2006
6. half-blood prince - ebook downloaded by ate debbie January 2006
7. deathly hallows - borrowed from Jay November 2007
The lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien - borrowed from OG June 2002
1. the hobbit (prologue)
2. fellowship of the ring
3. the two towers
4. return of the king
Angel of Darkness - Caleb Carr - borrowed from ate Jane September 2005
Timeline - Michael Crichton - arbor kay rolly during omni x'mas party December 2005
Domino effect - Adam Kennedy - rolly's March 2006
Filthy Rich - Dorothy Samuels - from Mitch December 2007
Sphere - Michael Crichton - May 2007
Tommyknockers - Stephen King - June 2007
Babyhood - Paul Reiser - July 2007
Seabiscuit - Laura Hillenbrand - July 2007
Chronicles of the mayfair witches - Anne Rice - from Chen June 2006
1. Lives of the mayfair witches
2.Taltos
3. Lasher
The Notebook - Nicholas Sparks - NDMU library February 2008
The Alchemist - Paolo Coelho - borrowed from Ariel March 2007
The Runaway Jury - John Grisham - October 2007
The Bone Collector - Jefferey Deaver - book sale January 2007
Shattered - Dean Koontz - rolly's March 2007
Freak the Mighty - Rodman Philbrick- peepie's May 2005
How Stella got her groove back - Terry Mcmillan - jan's May 2005
Black and Blue - Anna Quindlen - ate kix December 2007

i'll write a thing or two about each book as soon as my schedule allows me..
to be continued...